Break Ups ~ Kandi & AJ Call it Quits *CONFIRMED*

I initially refused to believe all the hype about the breakup of Real Atlanta Housewife Kandi Burruss and her finace’ Ashley “AJ” Jewell cause I’m a die hard optimist. I thought the two were gonna fight against all the naysayers and tie knot. I envisioned a Black version of The Brady Bunch where Kandi & AJ would merge families and all would move into one house and live happily ever after while we all watched it all unfold on reality TV. Well, apparently my vision was askew:

Kandi let it slip during a recent Essence interview that she and AJ were on “Hiatus” and that although she and AJ had hit a rough patch, two of his girls, who had moved into her place while the couple was engaged, are still living in her home.

We’re on hiatus. He’s a great guy and he’s not the type to sit on his behind like a scrub, so it has nothing to do with that. Yes, he has a lot of children, and yes, I didn’t know about them all at first but I got over it because as long as you handle your responsibility and spend time with your children it’s not an issue for me. Another thing I want to set the record straight on is that AJ was married before. A lot of people make comments like, if he didn’t marry his other children’s mothers then why do you think he’s going to marry you.

Well AJ says they’re not on no “hiatus”: They’ve broken up and he’s moved out. Kandi’s future ex-husband also confirmed that although they’ve gone their separate ways, they remain good friends and are raising his twin daughters together. Ok…I guess he cleared that up.

You can find AJ over at The Body Tap where I heard he’s part owner. That’s where I found him anyway. *ding* I just had a light bulb moment about where Kandi learned those infamous skripper moves she taught Fantasia. It all makes sense now.

source

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If I like do *I* put a ring on it?

Beyoncé (via last.fm)

Necole Bitchie had a blog recently about how Michael Jai White‘s wife Courtney proposed to him because she was tired of waiting. Ms. Bitchie was simply putting it out there that maybe it is ok for women to propose considering that our men are acting as if they don’t want to. I implore you to pop over there and take a look. She also quoted a very important quote that I’ll share with you over here.

“A stunned White beamed a Kool-Aid smile and responded affirmatively. “I was pleasantly shocked and didn’t feel emasculated at all, ” admits White. “I immediately said ‘yes’ because I knew that I was going to spend the rest of my life with her whether we got married or not.”

Now, here’s where I get started. Well before I get into that quote, let me just say my piece on the topic. I for one, will not be proposing to no man, no time soon. Call me a traditionalist, call me conservative, call me Susan, I don’t care (Sorry Whitney). I just have very solid ideas for how relationships and marriage should work, and I hope to see those things through for myself. I honestly don’t feel as though my *hang-ups* regarding not proposing to a man will end up in me being single for life. In this day and age it seems like the lines are getting reeeeeaaaaaal blurry when it comes to who is the woman and who is the man. I believe in equal pay for women, and women’s rights and such, but (and maybe it’s my religious beliefs) I do believe that there are certain roles we play in relationships that allow things to work cohesively. No matter who makes the most money in my household the man will be the man and I will be the woman. That means he can act as provider, he can fix stuff, and I can be the nurturer and I can run the family. Doing these things doesn’t take away from my independence, my ability to also have a job or anything else (see: Michelle Obama, Claire Huxtable), or even not allow us to occasionally do things in the other’s role. This meaning, he cooks, or I mow the lawn. With that being said, AINT NO WAY, I’m going to let a man think he can be with me for the rest of my life with our without a spiritual commitment. The Bible says (here I go) “He who finds a wife, finds a good thing.” Not.. “She who finds a husband has found a good thing too.” I give props to Mrs. White (or is he Mr. Chatman?) for stepping to the plate and “putting a ring on it.” It just wouldn’t be me.

His above quote shows just how willing he was to keep her waiting for that special day. Was he planning on having children with her? While many feel like marriage is not a requirement for having children, I for one don’t plan on putting the cart before the horse. Things happen, true, but I don’t want to plan on it. In her situation she had only been dating him for a year. To her that may have been too long, and the pressure to get married may have been strong. I don’t think that’s too long to date before getting married so I know I wouldn’t have been feeling the itch too bad. However, to me, if its been years and he’s not asking, I wouldn’t feel like marriage is something he wanted and proposing to him instead would be the last thing on my mind.

I really do wish the best for Mrs. & Mr. Chatman(white?) because no matter how they got there I love to see beautiful married couples. I just can’t wrap my mind around how I could possibly feel comfortable or good knowing that I had to ask HIM, and then knowing that he was content to never ask me at all!

What do the people say? Am I out of the loop and doomed for life until I accept this as a possible reality for myself? Was Beyonce off the mark and instead of being in the club, doin her own lil thing she should have put a ring on him? Questions, questions, DISCUSS!

JG*

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If I like do *I* put a ring on it?

Beyoncé (via last.fm)

Necole Bitchie had a blog recently about how Michael Jai White‘s wife Courtney proposed to him because she was tired of waiting. Ms. Bitchie was simply putting it out there that maybe it is ok for women to propose considering that our men are acting as if they don’t want to. I implore you to pop over there and take a look. She also quoted a very important quote that I’ll share with you over here.

“A stunned White beamed a Kool-Aid smile and responded affirmatively. “I was pleasantly shocked and didn’t feel emasculated at all, ” admits White. “I immediately said ‘yes’ because I knew that I was going to spend the rest of my life with her whether we got married or not.”

Now, here’s where I get started. Well before I get into that quote, let me just say my piece on the topic. I for one, will not be proposing to no man, no time soon. Call me a traditionalist, call me conservative, call me Susan, I don’t care (Sorry Whitney). I just have very solid ideas for how relationships and marriage should work, and I hope to see those things through for myself. I honestly don’t feel as though my *hang-ups* regarding not proposing to a man will end up in me being single for life. In this day and age it seems like the lines are getting reeeeeaaaaaal blurry when it comes to who is the woman and who is the man. I believe in equal pay for women, and women’s rights and such, but (and maybe it’s my religious beliefs) I do believe that there are certain roles we play in relationships that allow things to work cohesively. No matter who makes the most money in my household the man will be the man and I will be the woman. That means he can act as provider, he can fix stuff, and I can be the nurturer and I can run the family. Doing these things doesn’t take away from my independence, my ability to also have a job or anything else (see: Michelle Obama, Claire Huxtable), or even not allow us to occasionally do things in the other’s role. This meaning, he cooks, or I mow the lawn. With that being said, AINT NO WAY, I’m going to let a man think he can be with me for the rest of my life with our without a spiritual commitment. The Bible says (here I go) “He who finds a wife, finds a good thing.” Not.. “She who finds a husband has found a good thing too.” I give props to Mrs. White (or is he Mr. Chatman?) for stepping to the plate and “putting a ring on it.” It just wouldn’t be me.

His above quote shows just how willing he was to keep her waiting for that special day. Was he planning on having children with her? While many feel like marriage is not a requirement for having children, I for one don’t plan on putting the cart before the horse. Things happen, true, but I don’t want to plan on it. In her situation she had only been dating him for a year. To her that may have been too long, and the pressure to get married may have been strong. I don’t think that’s too long to date before getting married so I know I wouldn’t have been feeling the itch too bad. However, to me, if its been years and he’s not asking, I wouldn’t feel like marriage is something he wanted and proposing to him instead would be the last thing on my mind.

I really do wish the best for Mrs. & Mr. Chatman(white?) because no matter how they got there I love to see beautiful married couples. I just can’t wrap my mind around how I could possibly feel comfortable or good knowing that I had to ask HIM, and then knowing that he was content to never ask me at all!

What do the people say? Am I out of the loop and doomed for life until I accept this as a possible reality for myself? Was Beyonce off the mark and instead of being in the club, doin her own lil thing she should have put a ring on him? Questions, questions, DISCUSS!

JG*

Related articles by Zemanta

• If I like do *I* put a ring on it? (mogulinc.blogspot.com)
• The right to bare arms (guardian.co.uk)
• Michelle Obama and Oprah Grace the Cover of O Magazine (shoppingblog.com)
• The O Show: Oprah and Michelle on the Cover of Oprah’s Magazine (amazon.com)
• Media advisory – Women gather at UN to condemn the Harper government’s record on women’s rights (newswire.ca)
• Michelle Obama on Cover of O Magazine With Oprah (binside.typepad.com)
• Michelle Obama Is No Jacqueline Kennedy (themoderatevoice.com)
• Partners (gothamgal.com)
• Cherie Blair gives Michelle Obama advice on being ‘first lady’ (telegraph.co.uk)
• Barack Obama inauguration: The new family in the Whitehouse (telegraph.co.uk)