..:: I Should Have Know She Was A 2 Bit Sl*re ::..

Written by Marvelous Mo for Blogxilla.com

F*ck forgiveness! That bish f*cked my MAN!

Whoa! That was an Angry Black Woman spazz out on my end, my bad! Every now and then, ya girl wakes up in a cold sweat holding an imaginary butcher knife with fresh blood on it thinking I killed the whore who screwed the love of my life (at that point of my life). I’ve since moved on emotionally from this guy and a few relationships later, I still have flash backs of the anger I felt when my closest friend from school did the ultimate taboo: f*cked my boyfriend.

You see, back when I was in school I had no clue what the hell I was getting into with certain things and certain people. The magnitude of a person’s words and actions weren’t apparent and obvious at the time and I sure as hell wasn’t smart enough to suspect anything. I took people for who they SAID they were, not by what they have proven themselves to be. So, my situation was with a friend who SAID she would never betray me and a boyfriend who SAID he never lie to me, and in most cases try to make me look like I was the idiot for noticing his bull shit. I was head over heels for this guy and was deeply in love with him. It was a major thing for me.

To make a long story shot, I had to snoop in peoples email addresses to figure out why my man and my best friend were acting so different around me, walking away when I entered a room, stopped looking me in my eye, and the whole bit. Point blank, it was my fault why these two people ended up fucking each other. Their sexcapade is the product of what happens when you’re 19-20 years old, naive and in a serious relationship with someone. I allowed them to get too close thinking that they both loved me enough to not even think about going there. And even though I exclude my family from my personal life, my own Mom picked up on that odd paring and warned me to keep my man and my friends separated. I rolled my eyes thinking she was being nosey, but damn it if mothers aren’t the smartest people you could ever know sometimes!

In this situation I learned a valuable lesson: TRUST NOBODY. So simple and obvious until someone catches you slipping. It’s been about 4 years since this shit went down and I’m still angry about it. Not that I’m hanging on to the guy because he barely crosses my mind in that sense, but I’m upset at the feeling of anger and disappointment I felt when I found out. How do you forgive some shit like that? I can’t forgive that hoe! It’s so bad that every time I see her high school friend, who ironically enough described her as a whore bag whenever she mentioned her, I don’t even shake the chicks hand or acknowledge her as I would anybody who I’m being introduced to.

It’s a reason why whenever I’m dating someone or I am talking to someone I really like, I never bring him around my friends. I just don’t trust a chick. It could be looked at as insecurity, but I wouldn’t even trust a Nun after some shit like that. A hoe is a hoe. Real talk. I would love to throw my Ex-Boyfriend under the bus, but he’s just being a then 26 year old boy. Anything with a penis (both imaginary and natural) only have one thing on their minds… SEX. Don’t care about nobody else but themselves when they see something they like. It’s why Catholic priests are in so much trouble now. Horn dogs….

But how do you find forgiveness in some shit like that? It’s not like I’m mad at him for not choosing me or some shit like that. It’s more so the disrespect that I’m upset about. I’m heavy on that like 50 Cent is on loyalty. As bad as my memory is with everything else, I don’t forget a thing a person has done to me either, so that automatically means my Scorpian self is heavy with grudges until I find sweet revenge. So childish, but my feelings need justice. Don’t you feel that way about some messed up situations you’re involved in?

I have to tell you when I read those emails the first thing I did was run to her crib and ring the buzzer. I was trying to convince her to come down stairs so “we can talk” and promised her it wouldn’t take long, which was code word for BITCH COME DOWN STAIRS SO I CAN WHIP YOUR ASS! I think she knew it was coming, but didn’t know when.

Now, what would you do if you were heavily in love with someone and the closest person to you had a sexual relationship with them behind your back?

Ladies & gents, the floor is yours!

source

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What makes or breaks the wifey?

I really needed a reason to use that song. LOL I love love love me some Pharrell and by default in this song, I love Usher.

This is going to be part of a multi-post discussion of some ideas. I’d love to get you guy’s feedback to make future posts on this topic more conducive to what you all want to talk about.

So as humans, we all have the desire to meet someone we’re attracted to, get to know them, marry, and mate. That can be in any order obviously. While this seems like an easy enough concept, it has proven itself to be quite difficult actually. Especially in this day and age. It seems the economy isn’t the only thing in a recession. What I want to talk about however is the role sex plays in relationships. Specifically for this post I want to talk about the role a woman’s sexuality plays into relationships.

This is partially inspired by the Jump Off vs. Friends with Benefits conversation had over at Single Black Male, but really it’s a thought that I’ve seen many women secretly whisper about. It seems that to a certain extent black women are experiencing our own sexual revolution. Feminism to a certain extent left us in the dust, so we’re just now learning to love and be okay with our sensuality. Or we really? I watch Sex and The City, and I marvel at how these women were sexual, and open about their sexuality. They did things and spoke about things in a way that just made it seem normal and quite alright. Conversations among black women don’t go that way without anyone observing considering them “Whorish”. Of course, we talk to our girlfriends about our sexual escapades but the feeling is definitely different. Here’s why: Our sexual experiences are different. This is especially true for the Professional Black Woman.

I’ve had many conversations with men about how they want a lady in the streets but a freak in the bed. We’ve all heard that saying. To them, Wifey will be the pillar of the community, independent, yet secure enough to let the man be the man, and able to make his toes curl at night. Wonderful. That sounds great to me. So then tell me why have I observed this: A man meets a wonderfule woman. She’s a PBW, educated, socially aware, sweet, the kind of girl you bring home to mom, and make her the mother of your children. They date, enjoy great conversations, and then it’s time to get the business done. First go around is great. She handled hers and he showed out well for the match. All is well, phase two of the relationship can continue. Phase two being After Sex (A.S). You see there’s Before Sex (B.S.) and after. Y’all know there’s a difference. So the two are now being sexual. This woman who is wifey material is everything he could have asked for. This is where things get tricky. This same woman is also very sexual. She loves sex and is open about her likes and dislikes. It’s not something that she has to constantly talk about, or flaunt, but she brings it to his attention some of the things she’s interested in. The man realizes that she’s not virginal, and instantly her wifey status is diminished. I’m not talking about super freaky crazy, swinger swapping stuff and animals. Just on some Common’s “Go” type stuff.

So why does this happen? I’ve heard plenty of men claim they want a L.I.T.S. but a F.I.T.B yet, turn around and say in the same breath that they want their wives to be damn near virginal. I’ve also seen men confuse a woman who is well versed in the bedroom with a woman who has been around the block. The man is still intrigued, but would prefer her to be the Jump Off as opposed to Wifey now. He wants to learn from her, but not learn with her.

On the flip side, I’ve spoken to some of my friends who would love a sexually adventurous woman. However, they still admitted they would seriously question how she came to learn what she did, and why she was open to do certain other acts. However, I feel like this is all irrelevant. There’s a difference between the girl that you know all of your friends and the entire eastern seaboard have ran through, and the girl who may have had that one guy who showed her the ropes. At the end of the day if she’s in good health how much does it matter? If she was wifey to you before, the fact that she may know her way around the bed better than you shouldn’t change that.

So is it male ego? Pride? Should we black women find the happy medium between just laying there and absolutely letting loose? Should we stop reading Zane books and learn how to keep it basic? Or should we be able to explore our sexuality, and have a partner who supports us and explores with us? Are Will and Jada on to something? If you found out that Michelle Obama was a real freaky deek would you take the pedestal from under her? I understand also that what some define as freaky others define as kinky, what some define as kinky, others define as Fetish. Let’s just seek to define the common ground.

I open it up to you guys. I want to later explore more of the Professional Black Woman and her sexuality, as well as the stereotype of the black woman as the Jezebel when other races of women hold no such “title” over their heads. We’ll see how this conversation goes first. 🙂

JG* (no this post is not about me). LOL

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What makes or breaks the wifey?

I really needed a reason to use that song. LOL I love love love me some Pharrell and by default in this song, I love Usher.

This is going to be part of a multi-post discussion of some ideas. I’d love to get you guy’s feedback to make future posts on this topic more conducive to what you all want to talk about.

So as humans, we all have the desire to meet someone we’re attracted to, get to know them, marry, and mate. That can be in any order obviously. While this seems like an easy enough concept, it has proven itself to be quite difficult actually. Especially in this day and age. It seems the economy isn’t the only thing in a recession. What I want to talk about however is the role sex plays in relationships. Specifically for this post I want to talk about the role a woman’s sexuality plays into relationships.

This is partially inspired by the Jump Off vs. Friends with Benefits conversation had over at Single Black Male, but really it’s a thought that I’ve seen many women secretly whisper about. It seems that to a certain extent black women are experiencing our own sexual revolution. Feminism to a certain extent left us in the dust, so we’re just now learning to love and be okay with our sensuality. Or we really? I watch Sex and The City, and I marvel at how these women were sexual, and open about their sexuality. They did things and spoke about things in a way that just made it seem normal and quite alright. Conversations among black women don’t go that way without anyone observing considering them “Whorish”. Of course, we talk to our girlfriends about our sexual escapades but the feeling is definitely different. Here’s why: Our sexual experiences are different. This is especially true for the Professional Black Woman.

I’ve had many conversations with men about how they want a lady in the streets but a freak in the bed. We’ve all heard that saying. To them, Wifey will be the pillar of the community, independent, yet secure enough to let the man be the man, and able to make his toes curl at night. Wonderful. That sounds great to me. So then tell me why have I observed this: A man meets a wonderfule woman. She’s a PBW, educated, socially aware, sweet, the kind of girl you bring home to mom, and make her the mother of your children. They date, enjoy great conversations, and then it’s time to get the business done. First go around is great. She handled hers and he showed out well for the match. All is well, phase two of the relationship can continue. Phase two being After Sex (A.S). You see there’s Before Sex (B.S.) and after. Y’all know there’s a difference. So the two are now being sexual. This woman who is wifey material is everything he could have asked for. This is where things get tricky. This same woman is also very sexual. She loves sex and is open about her likes and dislikes. It’s not something that she has to constantly talk about, or flaunt, but she brings it to his attention some of the things she’s interested in. The man realizes that she’s not virginal, and instantly her wifey status is diminished. I’m not talking about super freaky crazy, swinger swapping stuff and animals. Just on some Common’s “Go” type stuff.

So why does this happen? I’ve heard plenty of men claim they want a L.I.T.S. but a F.I.T.B yet, turn around and say in the same breath that they want their wives to be damn near virginal. I’ve also seen men confuse a woman who is well versed in the bedroom with a woman who has been around the block. The man is still intrigued, but would prefer her to be the Jump Off as opposed to Wifey now. He wants to learn from her, but not learn with her.

On the flip side, I’ve spoken to some of my friends who would love a sexually adventurous woman. However, they still admitted they would seriously question how she came to learn what she did, and why she was open to do certain other acts. However, I feel like this is all irrelevant. There’s a difference between the girl that you know all of your friends and the entire eastern seaboard have ran through, and the girl who may have had that one guy who showed her the ropes. At the end of the day if she’s in good health how much does it matter? If she was wifey to you before, the fact that she may know her way around the bed better than you shouldn’t change that.

So is it male ego? Pride? Should we black women find the happy medium between just laying there and absolutely letting loose? Should we stop reading Zane books and learn how to keep it basic? Or should we be able to explore our sexuality, and have a partner who supports us and explores with us? Are Will and Jada on to something? If you found out that Michelle Obama was a real freaky deek would you take the pedestal from under her? I understand also that what some define as freaky others define as kinky, what some define as kinky, others define as Fetish. Let’s just seek to define the common ground.

I open it up to you guys. I want to later explore more of the Professional Black Woman and her sexuality, as well as the stereotype of the black woman as the Jezebel when other races of women hold no such “title” over their heads. We’ll see how this conversation goes first. 🙂

JG* (no this post is not about me). LOL

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• Michelle Obama Stuns in Statement Necklace (shoppingblog.com)
• Joseph A. Palermo: Race and Symbolism in the House Gallery (huffingtonpost.com)
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